Vegas, Baby!

A full day in Las Vegas and because I have no filters, what happens in Vegas will be plastered all over this corner of the internet.

We actually started on schedule, hitting the streets and walking to the Mob Museum at 9am. It may surprise you to know that there are almost no people on the street at 9am. A veritable ghost town.

Also, again, we started out looking for caffeine and found none. Really, what kind of place is this when you walk three blocks at 9am and there's not a single coffee shop?

The museum is located in the old post office and courthouse, so it's an amazing building to begin with. Much of the original decoration, furniture, etc. remains and has been woven into the museum. It's a nice touch.

No photo here, because I hadn't had coffee

It was surprisingly interesting, and we had a long chat with one of the docents, who was into railroads, about the history of Las Vegas, railroads, energy efficient travel, water conservation - we were practically exchanging numbers by the end of it. She was terrific.

St. Valentines Massacre Wall

The focus was largely on the mafia, with a brief piece about the Irish, Jewish, and Chinese gangs. It really made me wonder, though; while the Irish, Italian, and Jewish criminals eventually banded together, there had to have been a continuation of Chinese, not to mention black, organized crime.

Where are the black and Asian bobble heads?

After that we drove to the strip to soak in the weirdness and excess that defines this corner of the world, starting with The Bellagio. We saw the worlds largest chocolate fountain and the conservatory, which was frankly jaw dropping, featuring gigantic peacocks, fall leaves, and pumpkins.

Poppy cocks

green man?

RIP, Augustus Gloop

We wandered over to the Paris casino, with it's elaborate architecture, some of which was confounding. We puzzled for quite a while over what appeared to be a winged Medusa, holding a fascia, standing on the chest of a body while two people looked on adoringly.

Riker to Enterprise

Things got even weirder. In the basement we found a plasticized body exhibition, and since neither of us can resist dead things, we went in. 

When I die, I wish to be preserved whole in alcohol like an alien in independence day and shoved in a dark corner of a natural history museum to terrify visitors

Creepy ass putti

There was also a bar with a robotic bartender, plus about 20 people taking pictures. Nobody seemed to be ordering any actual drinks.

Evolution of the Booze-o-Matic

We went to Caesars, where I recounted the story of the first penis broadcast on television (thanks David Letterman), then back to the Bellagio for the fountain show.

Can't do that with diet coke and mentos

After that it was the Adventure of Finding The Car. 

We made it easy on ourselves, going to self parking, noting the place of the car, taking a tram to the Bellagio. 

But when we came back, there seems to have been some kind of portal or worm hole. We got off the tram (and that tram only has two ends, so that's not it), followed the signs to self park, and ended up, I kid you not, a mile away from our actual parking garage. We had a 7pm tour at the Neon Museum, so we power walked our way back (undoubtedly doing several angry photobombs along the way) and made it back to the Neon Museum with minutes to spare. 

The museum was fantastic. House in this amazing googie style former motel, the boneyard is full of old Las Vegas signage, both restored and not. 

Happy shirt and happier cocktail

The tours sell out early,  but we were luck to get one right at dusk. 

 The old Stardust sign

Giant treasure island pirate head, back from when Las Vegas was "family friendly" and not "going to Hell in a handcart"

We decided to go to dinner at the Container Park, which features a giant fire-breathing praying mantis (the artist made it as a gift for his wife on their first anniversary, which begs the question if there was a second). Unfortunately, after 9 the place is 21 and over only, so we crossed the street to an Indian restaurant. 

Great find. The food was fantastic, the patrons were all Indian, Bollywood was on the speakers, and they had the most amazing gin and tonic I have ever tasted. 

And there's the real happiest cocktail

Turns out they make their own tonic using quinine, turmeric, saffron, and curry leaves. Looks like I have  new project when I get home. 

Tomorrow it's off to Tempe and I can finally wash the vague yet lingering scent of second hand smoke out of my hair and skin. Thank God.